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Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

So I’ve returned.

Excited?

I can tell.

We’ve been busy. REAL busy.

Like we’ve been potty training.

Don’t get too excited. Potty training consists of Robbie shoving his hand in the toilet and then into his mouth all while I try not to throw up.

No, I’m not pregnant.

We also went camping and I learned I have a secret.

I will share when I am ready.

No, I’m not pregnant.

We’ve been trying to buy a house.

And by trying I mean we live on a hundred dollars trying to sock away enough for the down payment and the 7 thousand dollars that follows for the “extras”.

We really need the extra room. Like REALLY need it!

No, I’m not pregnant.

We cut Liams hair.

It was getting scraggly and the child is going through early onset male patterned baldness.

Makes me sad he’s growing up so fast.

He’s growing up so much faster than Robbie and with Robbie I knew early on that I would have another one to enjoy soon.

THIS TIME I DON’T!

Let me clarify,

I AM NOT PREGNANT.

 

This blog posting has been written for my father. The man who continues to insist I am pregnant again. No Dad, I’m not pregnant I’m just fat. Thanks 🙂

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Today has been one of those days.

You know, the kind where you just feel like your best just isn’t cuttin’ it. I think this stems from my first-born attempting to impale his soft spot with the corner of my jewelry-holding-tower-thingy. Yes, I am quite certain that is the proper terminology for it… Shuddup

Anyways, last night, while I was trying to feed the little stink, I realized my big stink had gone unusually quiet and was out of my line of sight. This should have been a key indicator that something was rotten in Denmark, but, alas, I am all good at this parenting gig and let it go. Honestly, what was I going to do? The little stink was attached to me and had already had to wait such a long time to eat because I had been dealing with his brother earlier. Can’t that little guy get some love too?

Apparently not.

When Little Robbie was finally in my eye sight he was crushed under a semi largish piece of furniture with its corner securely attached to his head. That corner people? It was unnervingly close to his soft spot! I almost fell over! Actually I screamed. I startled the half asleep nursing baby, caused him to bust out the water works, I terrified the crushed child, and caused him to bust out the “I’m so upset I can’t even take a breath” water works… Yes, parenting at it’s finest…

SIGH

On the bright side? He was totally fine. On the not so bright side? I don’t know that I can recover… It was too traumatic for me.

This is comparable to the canned corn debacle of 2011.

Little Robbie dropped a can on his toe. I swore he needed to be rushed to the ER because his toe was falling off. I was told it was a flesh wound and to get over it…I may over react…

But only a little.

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I feel like I have nothing to say today.

Strange.

I always have something to say…

Well, I’ve been basically talking to myself for the past hour and a half.

I keep texting my husband while he’s at work.

You know, deep, thought-provoking things such as;

“I’m hungry and there’s nothing to eat”

Let me decode that for you.

“I’m hungry and I don’t care if we just went grocery shopping, all the stuff here I have to make! Furthermore, why the heck aren’t you here to make it for me?!?!?”

or

” I was looking at clothes online, but my mom says I should go through her closet before I buy anything”

Decoding…

“I know you’re going to read that text she sent me and, don’t get me wrong, I will be rifling through her closet once this baby is out, but don’t you think for one second that means your off the hook on the new clothes business!”

and my personal favorite

“Why is it raining?!?! It’s supposed to rain all this week! Doesn’t the rain know I have big plans to walk spawn #2 out?!?!? Doesn’t this weather get that I’ve got to get this baby out some how?!?!”

Translation:

“You suck, you did this to me, I blame you for, not only, this everlasting pregnancy, but also for the weather”.

 

For the life of me, I just can’t figure out why he’s not texting me back…

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This is not my first time at the blogging rodeo. If you didn’t gather this much from the title I, A. don’t know that I can help you and B. not sure I want to. I used Blogger before, but was not its biggest fan and got bored when I “couldn’t” talk about my new pregnancy– 1st trimester fears and all that. However, since I am now officially 35 weeks pregnant I think I can safely talk about it ;)!

This leads into the choice of my blog name. This is pretty self-explanatory if you know me IRL, but if you don’t, you would be confused. My children are too close together. There, I said it. I allowed myself to blindly believe that nursing was an effective form of birth control… My son is 11 months old and I am due with my second son in a month. Obviously, I was wrong in my assumption… You know what they say about assuming, makes an a…you get my drift! Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and all that jazz, but I certainly wasn’t expecting a second so soon after the first! Especially since the first came as a *ahem* bit of a surprise too!

Anyways, I guess I should do the polite thing and introduce myself. You might have gathered I am a mom of 1.85 boys, I am, also, 22-years-old, and, as of recently, a college drop out. OK the college drop out is really something I just say that amuses me. I’m actually almost done with my degree,  but keep taking these 9  month breaks along the way. So, at the rate I’m going I would guess I’ll be finished in about 10 years, give or take a couple of days.  WHAT?!?! I’m all kinds of scientific in my realism!

Now for my mushy *kiss* *kiss* can’t wait to talk again send off! When really it’s more of an “I’m tired, I’m going to bed and tomorrow I will write something that doesn’t resemble anything of us ‘talking’ and more along the lines of a soliloquy”. Oh yes, I might get all Hamlet-y on you!

And, with that, I bid you adieu!

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